Oh my I haven't written anything in MONTHS! But it's Good Friday, so it's all good.. :P
"Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.'" ~ Matthew 26:39
Our Lord sacrificed His life so that we may live. It wasn't easy, it was filled with excruciating pain, but that's how much He loved us before we even came to be on this earth. It's very sobering. I can't imagine what it was like to die such a brutal death. But He knew that Sunday was a-comin! Praise Jesus!
Sam and I have been going through a lot of changes and trials, as far as jobs and where to live. But the Lord has finally opened the doors of opportunity and understanding.
From July to December we lived in a campus apartment. It was small and slightly annoying, but it was ours, and we finally married :)
THEN, the most anticipated moment for any undergraduate student happened...we GRADUATED! Both of us at the same time too...it's pretty neato how God let that happen for us.
Having a degree is amazing because your four years or more of hard work is able to be displayed onto one precious piece of paper. No more late night studying, no more tears over seemingly impossible mid-terms to write, no more gathering an impossible group of students together at odd times of the day to try to accomplish anything legit on a group project that everyone hates...freedom is here.
Or is it? Now you enter a whole new realm of life called Job Searching. This phase of life can encompass stressful stressful trains of thought.
"Ok, I have a media communications degree...what can I do with that? Well, I have had some internships in marketing departments, let's look on indeed.com for 'marketing.' What? Ten years experience? Master's degree? Ok, well...I edited the school newspaper so...is there anything I can do for any local newspapers...? Wow, I'm not even seeing any job openings whatsoever, let alone if they would be something I could do....I give up."
Basically, that's been my life! I've now moved on from thinking I'll actually use the "media communications" aspect of my degree at ALL, and am continuing to actively search for administrative assistant or secretarial jobs.
Let's back up...Sam and I now live in Missouri...in the basement of my parents' house.
After graduation, we had to decide where to live. Our options seemed to be endless, but our top picks were to stay in Minneapolis, move to Sam's town in Fargo, or move to my town in Missouri. Well, we were thinking about Sam's calling to become a music pastor and realized that there aren't really an array of churches in Fargo, I was sick and tired of Minneapolis and desperately wanted to be home, so home to Missouri we went! We felt that we had prayed a lot and had peace about it. The plan was to live at their house for about 2 or 3 months...until we found amazing jobs and an amazing place to live.
Here we are, nearing 4 months later and we have just been faced with closed door after closed door to any real job opportunities. I mean, we were getting turned down from opportunities we KNEW should be ours. We are starting to wonder if we should even keep trying in Missouri at all.
All the while, Sam's mom Lori has cancer, and about a month ago it got really worse. For two weeks Sam was up in Fargo visiting her, and my mom and I went up for about 4 days. The first night I was there driving around with Sam, I became teary eyed...I really felt like Fargo is to be our new home.
Thankfully, Lori has been doing a LOT better lately :) Praise God! Now she is home!
I think God is calling us to be there mainly to be there for his family. Also there are new churches springing up around there, so I know that Sam's giftings of worship leading will be used for God's glory.
It is decided that we are moving on April 21st! We are signing the lease for an apartment (right next to the mall!) right now, and Sam already landed a great job. I have a couple interviews lined up and know that I will get a job in no time.
It is a bittersweet move for me. I have ALWAYS loved Fargo so much. I still consider some of the best years of my life to be when my family lived there from 2001-2004. ALL of Sam's family and relatives and friends are there, many of my relatives and friends are there, and it's just home for us.
But I'm leaving my family in Missouri, and I hate it. It's just NOT right for families to be split up like this. If only we never moved away from Fargo in the first place... (My hope and dream is that once Sam and I start having children, my family will be so in love with them that they do whatever it takes to move :)
So there it is! The basic outline of our life right now. I know the Lord has great plans for us. He sees what we do not see and His ways are not our ways. (Isaiah 55:8) Keep trusting in Him!! When God closes one door, He'll open another :)
